1st reader-provided content – my little site is growing up

I’m always open to submissions for the site, and have received the first of what I hope is many bits of poker humour provided by readers. Sure it’s a bit old, but it’s also more than a little funny.

Thanks to Mike P. for taking the time (Sorry, no prize. Fame and glory at www.vivapoker.com should be more than enough).

CHAT
doubledealt says:hi
Bill_FTP-OLS says: good evening
doubledealt says: What’s ip?
doubledealt says: up?
Bill_FTP-OLS says: my name is bill a member of the full tilt online Support team
doubledealt says: On MSN?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:yes
doubledealt says:Why?
Bill_FTP-OLS says: we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information
doubledealt says: My information?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?
doubledealt says:No. I don’t even have it written down.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?
doubledealt says:Well…
Bill_FTP-OLS says:if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know. L
doubledealt says:Well
Bill_FTP-OLS says:dont worry this connect it secure
doubledealt says: Can I be honest with you, Bill?
Bill_FTP-OLS says: k
doubledealt says: Look, I don’t know how you go this MSN account name, don’t really care, either.
doubledealt says: Unlike you, I DO work for FTP. Trace my ip and you’ll see.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:huh?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:bs
doubledealt says:Trace it.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:how
doubledealt says:Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:oh k
doubledealt says:As an employee, I know that FTP employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a full tilt employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.
doubledealt says:I’m putting a temporary hold on your full tilt account.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:why?
doubledealt says:Have you read the ToS?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:Tod?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:tos
doubledealt says:terms of service
Bill_FTP-OLS says:were?
doubledealt says:Bill, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:why
doubledealt says:I just told you why
doubledealt says:I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I’m going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:k
doubledealt says: First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:xxxxx xxxxxxx
doubledealt says:Is this you?
Bill_FTP-OLS says: ya
doubledealt says:Are you the only user of this account?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:ya
doubledealt says:Okay, and what is the username
Bill_FTP-OLS says:xxxxxxxx
doubledealt says:Okay.
doubledealt says:I see you have raked a lot of hands this month, thank you.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:some. dude
Bill_FTP-OLS says:m
doubledealt says:Do you always log on from the same IP?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:ya
doubledealt says:And who is your internet providers, your ISP?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:xxxxxxx
doubledealt says:Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?
doubledealt says:What is your city of residence?
doubledealt says:That depends on if you cooperate. You’re doing fine so far.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:xxxxxx
doubledealt says:Illinios?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:yes
doubledealt says:Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:xxxxxxx
doubledealt says:Okay. Do not try to log into ftp. If you are connected now you need to log off.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:why
doubledealt says:So I can update your account.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:can I play 2 nite
Bill_FTP-OLS says:tourney tonight
Bill_FTP-OLS says:heh
doubledealt says:Heh. You’ll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:ya
doubledealt says:Okay. Give me just a moment.
doubledealt says:Try to log in now.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:k
Bill_FTP-OLS says:It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?
doubledealt says:Bill
Bill_FTP-OLS says:did u ban me???????????>WHY
doubledealt says:Bill
Bill_FTP-OLS says:what
doubledealt says:Full Tilt will never ask for your username and password.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:what????
doubledealt says:I don’t work for ftp dude, but you just got pwnt.
Bill_FTP-OLS says:omg dude wtf why?
doubledealt says:Why were you trying to steal my account?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:i wanst
doubledealt says:Then why were you asking for my information?
Bill_FTP-OLS says:i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i’m only 13 and save d up for like a year
doubledealt says:Bill
Bill_FTP-OLS says:dude pleas
Bill_FTP-OLS says:what
doubledealt says:Go mow some yards, bitch.